madame
♥Michelle
Mee-shell | 18 coming Sept | 11 Sept 1993 | Chestnut Drive Secondary.
I am an average girl next door from a sucky school and I suck at chinese.
Facebook owns me cos its just the best way to stalk people.NOT!
I dont do such stuffs.
This is my life story,
where Tears, Laughters & Fun
Peppers the pages & months.
Sooo...
Don't come here to find trouble please.
I have my own thoughts,comment all u like, but i won't give a damn IF ur being a nuisance.


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crédits
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wanna restart.
Friday, July 31, 2009 9:08 PM
who says tt,
"its a new year,a new beginning,a new leaf!the past would be forgotten!"
it must not be a new year to start over&change,
so im gonna start a new by sunday=]
cos i have to see how things goes on saturday..
im gonna move on,wif Aryna&Fadhila.
im gonna be crazy=]
im gonna forget bout the bad things tt happened.
i wanna spend more time wif ALL of my friends when i can=]
i wanna be like a brother to my guyfriendsXD
i wanna be like a sister to my girlfriendsXD
ppl who treat me as their sister/brother,i will do so too=]
ppl who treat me as their bestfriend,i will do so too=]
ppl who treat me as friens only,i will do so too=]
ppl who irritate me,i will do so too,but worst=]
ppl who treat me like shit,i will do so too.
ppl who dun wanna be my friends,its up to u,but i would really wanna know y.

just be straight forward to me pls if i got attitude problem or whatsoever.
if im irritating,just tell me,i will change=]
whatever it is u dun like bout me,just say it to me alrites,
dun go around talking behind my back,
cos if u got the guts to talk bout me,scold me behind my back,
u can do it too straight to my face.
i promise i wont get angry or hold grudges on u,
cos i just wanna know y u dont like me
&i want to change,
but make sure u urself would not hold grudges or whatsoever.

but first,i have to deal wif some ppl,
cos its becos of them,im so moody all the time,
becos im trying hard to find out what i did wrongly.
&im afraid tt i would be irritating u all,
cos some ppl does,i dunno.

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harryharry,
Monday, July 20, 2009 10:52 PM
today,
classes went as usual,but no social studies for me,
cos i dropped it or as Mr Raj says,it dropped me.
than got sent out of class today cos i didnt bring my chinise txt book.
than i didnt have star today,so i went home early,
did my homework&some revison,
than went to catch a movie[Harry potter,half blood prince]wif Akif&my adik,
it doesnt seem tt interesting as the advertisement have shown,
&some parts tt the ad show did not come out in the movie!
it seems so not worth,i dunno luhh,grrr.
so now im waiting for the uploading of my photos to finish
&off i am to sleep.soo tired..

yesterday,19.07.09
10:36 PM
it was Rena's birthday!
went to her party,
saw some guys tt they said was cute,
but to me,nahh,not at all!
haha.
hmm,helped Yimling,Emmeline,Syahirah&Emily make up,
i just love to help ppl do their make up!
did Jinhua's hair&she was sooo pretty!!
like a princess as always,lol.
well,of cos the birthday girl was prettier,
i mean,only for tt day=Xoops.
hmm,saw lots of ppl wearing pretty dresses,
it the first time im wearing a dress infront of my school mates,
so paisehh!
we kinda stay in our all girls group,
JinHua,Emily,Farhana,Syahirah,Yimling&ME!
haha,
well,i think u all will be asking me if im okayy wif Yimling aready?
well,yahh.but not sooo close like last time.
better than not talking.
&the best part is,
the Helium!haha,
it made our voices all squeeky,
we took the ballons from the celling&breathed in the gas,
it was soo damn funn!
i even brought two ballons home to show my family&neighbour!
haha.well,they laughed at me
&i think my parents would be wondering if they did give birth to a mental daughter.
well,i dont think so,but i cant be sure,haha.its just me,i think.
kindofa got pissed off yesterday,cos he/she shouted at me,
&seems to be blaming me wif those glaring eyes,
if it wasnt for ___ _________!i would have shouted back at tt person!
grrrr!it just pisses me off by thinking of it,
ask me if u wanna know,dont make assumptions!i might tell u,
well,if i can remember tt is.
hmmm,went home at about 9.45?
&i was so damn sleepy in sch.

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IKEA!
Saturday, July 18, 2009 11:57 PM
went to ikea today!
haha,
i have been begging them to bring me there to get the table since Monday!
like finally!
yayy!~
so i brought a table&two chairs to study,
its not tt i dun have a table,
is tt the table is not spacious enough
&my irritating adik,keep leaving his toys there
&everything's soo messy..
im gonna work hard for n levels now,
except for tmr,cos its Rena's birthday party=]
i wanna go to sec 5,so do i want my friends too,
but i dunno what they are gonna decide on..
cos if we were separated,its hard to sustain the friendship,
not tt its not possible,i know tt i want this friendship to last,
but i dunno bout them..
&i think tts what im really afraid off.
i wanna spend as much time as i have wif them,
but i have to study for Ns
so there's abit of a time management problem there
&some others..
well,im just so happy to see the table there!
it looks sooo nice&i lovee it sooo muchh!
hahaXD
well,i wanna go admire it now,lol
soo,byee!

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trying to pick myself up..
11:38 PM
things are going up&down so dramatically..
when things seems to get better,
than it falls back down flat.
when im trying my best to sustain myself,
try my bestt to control my emotion,
something or someone just makes me wanna shout.
when im trying my best to have fun,be happy,
something or some stupid problem come up&just wanna spoil it.
when i tried my best&finally solved a problem,
another comes..
how long is this stupid cycle gonna last??

what a day..
Wednesday, July 15, 2009 8:58 PM
i was kinda happy today,
but till the end after f.a.s.t,
things start to go suckky.
dun wanna think about it,
dun wanna talk about it,
but if u ask me face to face,
i might tell u,well depends..
*haiss*

&some of u out there,
if u hate me just becos im close wif Aryna&u think tt i will side her,
ur wrong okayy!
i dont side anyone,
Syahirah is also my friend alrites!
so stop wif those attitudes,
its freaking lame!

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yesterday,
Monday, July 13, 2009 10:12 PM
went to Jinhua house,
said tt we would study,but we keep chatting away
&doing stupid things.hhaha.
but we did study.a little.hah.
my parents came to fetch me around 4.30
&we went to gaylang.not to find prostitutes okayy,
there's just a vry good temple there where we go often when we have problems.
there's a man/priest there,i dunno what they call him,so i will just call him..
hmmm,what should i call him,priest sounds like a monk,which are like botak ppl,
but his not.i mean he is still like them,being able to see things,read ur face,
know how ur like&stuffs.but he just look like a normal guy.
i really dunno what to call him.umm,lets call him,uncle S.F?
okayy than uncle S.F talked to my family
&my mum asked him to help me out,cos nowadays,i cant fall asleep,
as in,eventhough im vry tired,but my eyes cant seem to close
&my brain just cant stop thinking of things,
things just keep popping out in my mind,like songs&stuffs,
singing in my brain,talking to myself in my brain like how im talking to this blog.
it just wont stop&let me rest.it just happened last month,until now.
its making me cranky&mood-less
so back to story,after tt,he counciled me&my brother
&i got to know more of what i should or should not do.

so now,
im gonna work hard for sec 5&i hope all of my friends do so too,
im not gonna lie,unless if there's really a need,
im gonna treat my parents wif respect,
im not gonna sulk anymore,i wanna be like a happy-go-lucky girl!
im not gonna cry infront of anyone of u!tt day would be the last time!
im gonna be strong!
im not gonna rely on anyone!
lesser sadsad posts!more happy ones=]
so on..lazy to rite-.-

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trying to bring back the past.
Thursday, July 9, 2009 8:59 PM
how i wish tt everything would just fall back into place,
like how it was in the past,
but i just cant help being like this now becos i heard some heartbreaking things from my friend,
tt they we're talking bad about me during the time i avoided them.
y cant they just understand tt its too much for me to handle?
it just happened soo quickly.
i feel,being used.
when ppl want thing from me,they treat me nicely,
but other times,they just throw me aside,or even talk bad bout me.
haiss*
i really dunno what to do,
the days when im not in sch,
only a few of my friends were concerned,
i guess theres no difference of me being there wif them anot.
it made me afraid,
like im gonna be left behind soon,
it made me afraid to talk to ppl,
bocos some of their replies were like,
stop-asking-u-irritating-bitch!kind of a tone.
im sorry if i am,but im trying to change okayy,becos i wanna stay wif u guys.
im not chang for the sake of it,its just tt u guys are important to me,
but i dun think u all feel the same way.
i dunno,im just afraid to rely on anyone,
because they might feel im irritating,or they might just leave me anytime,
im not writing this for sympathy,this is what im really feeling now.
just soo afraid..

weird!
8:25 PM
today,
i didnt attend school,
well mostly because im lazy&tt i took my medicine which made me sleepy,
but i went for star program,
Mdm Salina was funny,haha.
she even slap her butt infront of us,
she a cool teacher,not tt Mrs Beh is not,
its just tt her classes are boring,it makes me wanna sleep,
&tt stupid Michael just cant keep his mouth shut!
keep asking me to go home cos im sick,
i know the reason of y im sick&i know tt it wont spread.

went to art room,to do some work.
Mdm Fatimah gave me a shock,
saying tt Mr Nasim ask Shakir&me to treat her cos we came to sch only in the afternoon.
i really love to be around Mdm Fatimah,
i dunno y,it feels so pleasant.

after tt,
Fadhila,Aryna,Farhana,Kamilah&me went home together.
when i was walking home,i was thinking about the past,
how we used to get along so well together=]
the times tt we were at Ahamd's place,
having fun,joking around,all the stupid things.
&i didnt notice where i was walking,
i was actually walking towards Ahmad's place,
haha,stupid me,how i just wish tt things would go back like how it used to be,
than i changed where i was heading&went towards my house.

FIMFA/FIMFAY/FIMFAE??
Wednesday, July 8, 2009 9:59 PM
sighs,
so its really immposible for FIMFAY to be together again huh?
to me now,i really had forgotten the past,
but some ppl might not,
i dunno,i just want everything back to how it was in the past,
but wif some changes,like ppl wif their attitude problem changed.
things change,ppl change,
&i cant deny the fact tt i have changed too,
&im trying my best to change back
i feel like a bitch now,
i dunno y,
but i just feel tt way,
&i seems like ppl are starting to hate how im behaving now,
im really sorry for what i did in the past
&im trying to be the old Michelle again,
the quiet one i guess,
since ppl gets irritated speaking to me,
so im just gonna keep everything to myself.
im doing this cos i think someppl just felt i was irritating
&just wanna be nice by not telling me straight in the face,
but do tell me if i am,
its way better than going around telling ppl than im so irritating,
telling me,i could change&maybe not bother u anymore
&i wont get hurt by u telling me urself,maybe a little,
but its way better telling me urself,really.
maybe when FIMFA/FIMFAY/FIMFAE comes back together,
things might be better as we dont wanna keep secrets from each other
&share our problems,nvr to keep it to ourselves.

to me,my friends are vry important
&i love them all,but do they feel the same way?
i think some did before,but what about now?
cos theres so much things tt happened,
will it change?
u guys might now know how much i wanna hold this friendship together,
but from what i see,u guys just seem to take this friendship lightly,
sighs*
just hope we would all get promoted&things will get better,
lets all work hard kayy=]
exams are just around the corner.